Severe Jam Damage

Dustin is representing Ireland in the Eurovision this year. I laughed my ass off through the performance last night. RTE went back to the old way of picking a song and this is what the public voted in - given the other choices, Dustin was really the only way to go. Dana was disgusted, Louis made a crack about the fact that Dustin is RTE and it was an RTE show, and Maria (the girl who won for Serbia last year) almost fell off her chair with laughter and kept calling him a ‘duck’.
Priceless…

Nothing going on here today, but if you want a bit of a laugh try the lads at CurryChips.

Normal service will be resumed when I get some spare time.

Here is a link to a rather innocuous newspaper article.

However, it is the comments section that really made me snigger…

samples:

‘They are a nuisance, and also the flying wizards of Satan. There, I’ve said it.’

‘This is preposterous! Pigeons performed a vital role in assisting communications in both World Wars and should therefore be encouraged to breed in higher numbers in order to remind us that we must never forget. Perhaps the money would be better spent erecting a large memorial of a Rock Pigeon or perhaps a Feral Pigeon - I’ll leave that decision to the council. I don’t think a Wood Pigeon memorial would be particularly appropriate because I don’t think they did too much for us during the war. Other than food.’

I myself have never been attacked by a pigeon, nor indeed defecated upon by such a feathered being, but I feel it is my duty to point out to certain contributors to this discussion that it is no laughing matter to be on the receiving end of pests and vermin. Just the other day, for example, I was held prisoner in my own home by a violent squirrel who demanded I perform certain “acts” in order to regain my freedom. I was shamed. But the most shameful thing is, I secretly enjoyed it. How wrong is that?

I AM BARRISTER MOSES UKABANJO FROM LAGOS NIGERIA AND I NEED TO TRANSFER 35 MILLION PIGEONS OUT OF MY COUNTRY

I’ve gotten some spam comments here and the ‘name’ of the user is ‘For god’s sake STOP GOING TO CATHOLIC CHURCH’ and the email address is ‘andstopyourparents’@iamspam.com.

As some of you may know I spent (some of) my formative years in a small town in Nova Scotia. Well actually we lived in a township -which I think is the only way to put it - called Falmouth. This place was so small that our entire address was:
The family name
Falmouth
RR2 (RR standing for ‘rural route’)

Windsor was the ‘big town’ next door and my, wasn’t it the epitome of style and sophistication. It had a Sobeys! It had a Co-Op! It even had a drive-in A&W!

And now ladies and gents it has The Pumpkin Regatta. In which grown men (and women) carve out pumpkins and try to make their way across Lake Pesaquid.

Holy shit! (sorry got side-tracked there.) I’ve found an article in the Chronicle Herald (Halifax newspaper) about it and it mentions a fella I used to go to school with. Now that’s a blast from the past.

Anyway, sorry where was I? Oh yes, the Pumpkin Regatta. It’s only been running for 7 years so I’ve never seen the damn thing. I blame it all on that Howard Dill fella. I remember when he was winning ‘huge punkin’ contests all over the place. It got so you couldn’t go anywhere: The Dairy Treat, the Met, even Ed’s (the local shop) without seeing that photo of Howie with his three grandkids sitting inside his huge pumpkin.

*photo from http://www.worldsbiggestpumpkins.com/

more here

Spam UP
‘Now with the new taste of black pepper’

Good lord, I’m not kidding. I’m here at home today, not feeling the best and propped up with pillows and this ad comes on the telly with all these happy people eating Spam. Spam salads, Spam sandwiches, Spam god knows what.

One of the lines actually goes:
‘Spam Up! For your anniversary!’
And theres an old fella putting a platter of spam in front of his oul wan and the table all set with flowers and candles.

I can see this becoming a cult ad. Much like the ‘GO WALKing!’ thing that was running a couple of years ago.

This made me laugh today:

Star Trek does Monty Python

Spotted in the Hudson Bay Co toy department. We know it as the crazy frog but they call it the ‘Annoying Singing Thing.’ I think they might be right.

This was perhaps the saddest, loneliest toy department I have ever been in. Even the ’summer toy’s section was looking dejected. Mind you the whole shop (all 6 floors of it) was looking like the Shop That Time Forgot.

Saw these earlier online. I’m not sure who put them together so unfortunately unable to credit…