Severe Jam Damage

I’ve been watching Demons, cos apparently I have some sort of masochistic tendencies which make me watch any old crap on the telly (see ‘Fringe’, ‘Leverage’, and uh, ‘Greys Anatomy’) Also Philip Glenister is in it, which made me think ‘well it can’t be that bad - can it?’ I’d read some reviews before the show started which really should have raised the alarums. Comparing anything to a Whedon creation is as good as sounding the death knell, hell comparing Whedon to Whedon is dodgy as well, given his apparently toxic relationship with Fox (Please let Dollhouse be good not cancelled) especially when the comparison is made with everyones favourite kick-ass blonde.

‘Demons’ is the ‘British Buffy’

- oh dear.
Well thats not raising expectations much is it? I’ve watched up to episode 4 now and I can say with quite certain certainty that ‘Demons’ is NOT the British Buffy. It is actually a complete Buffy RIP-OFF! Consider the following:

1. Buffy is a young girl from California who finds out that she is the Chosen One of her generation - ie. the Slayer.
Luke is a young man from London who finds out he is the chosen one of his generation - ie. the last Van Helsing.
Ok, an unoriginal premise, average joe finds out they are anything but average - theres lots of shows you can say that about. Fair enough, lets move on.

2. Buffy was a 16-year old high-school student.
Luke is an 18 year old college student.
Ok, so thats a difference says you, except that Buffy started out as an 18 year old in the movie version. No, I’m not clutching at straws - well, maybe a little, but point 3 more than makes up for it. Its an utter CLANGER.

3. Buffy has an English Watcher named Rupert Giles. Giles is referred to by his last name, is single, and plays English folk guitar in coffee shops.
Luke has an American Godfather named Rupert Galvin. Galvin is referred to by his last name, is a widower and listens to American country and western music.
Giles and Galvin are both responsible for training their respective charges to fight vampires, demons and anything else that happens along from the Sunnydale Hellmouth (Buffy) or possesses half-life blood (Luke). People, LOOK AT THOSE INITIALS, and the first name. Seriously, they used the SAME first name and the same initials. Seriously.

4. Buffy is an only child who lives with her Mother.
Luke is an only child who lives with his Mother.
Both characters have lost their fathers - Buffys parents are divorced, Lukes father is dead. Neither mother is aware of their childs extraordinary calling - although Joyce later became aware of Buffys calling and boy was she pissed at Giles.

5. Buffys best (male) friend is Xander.
Lukes best (female) friend is Ruby.
Xanders role in early episodes was to provide comic relief, exposition and also he had a crush on Buffy. Ruby also provides comic relief, exposition and she also has a crush on Luke. There’s no ‘Willow’ character in Demons, however if Ruby becomes an Adept who decides to destroy the world after her girlfriend is killed (or a builder)in a future ep I’ll eat my Hand of Glory.

6. Buffy and the Scooby Gang had their HQ in Sunnydale High Library.
Luke and his gang (no cutesy nickname yet) have their HQ in an underground library \ vault called ‘the Stacks’.
After Sunnydale High was flattened when the Mayor turned into a massive serpent and ruined graduation for everyone Giles bought the Magic Box. I expect that the Stacks will cave-in in some equally horrific event in Demons leaving Galvin to become a genial sex-shop owner in Soho.

7. Buffy was a Slayer. Luke is a Smiter
oh dear, oh dear, oh dear - Phil Glenisters American accent is bad enough but hearing him slur ‘First we Grade ‘em and then we Smite em’ is possibly the worst sound in the world. EVAR. Also SMITE? I understand they couldn’t use the word SLAYER due to copyright infringement or whatever, but SMITE just sounds - well lets be honest - its too close to SHITE isn’t it?

8. Angel is a ‘good’ vampire who helps out the Scooby Gang.
Mina is a ‘good’ vampire who helps out Luke, Ruby and Galvin.
Angels excuse for not going all fangy on the Scooby Gang (except for the times when he did) is due to a gypsy curse which gave him back his soul many years ago. Mina was bitten by Dracula but gets her blood cleaned to stop her from going fangy on Lukes gang. No word yet on how she lost her sight.
Angel and Buffy had the whole ‘tortured’ love affair thing going on and I kind of get the feeling that the Demons folks are trying to do the same with Luke and Mina. I can’t see it happening myself - Angel was tortured, depressed and moody (apparently girls like that) Mina is just a bitch.

Ok, so I only got 8 points of comparison and not the normal ‘Top 10′ list - but I think the evidence here is pretty damn obvious. There are another two eps to go and yes, I will watch - partly because I don’t think it can get very much worse - but I’m also a glutton for punishment.

For those of you who haven’t already heard the 11th Doctor will be played by Matt Smith. Who? sez you.
Exactly.
Seriously though looking at imdb.com he was Jim in the TV versions of Philip Pullmans ‘Sally Lockheart Mysteries’. I only saw the Ruby in the Smoke, but I do remember thinking at the time that he was noticeable, despite the rather small role. He’s the youngers ever Doctor (26) which makes me feel dead old as I was already a fan of Tom Bakers’ Doctor and was only starting to watch Peter Davidson when Smith was born - 1982 for those who want to join me in my nostalgia.

So Ten is gone (and we’ll weep appropriately when the times comes) and Eleven has yet to appear. I’ll hold my breath - but not for too long.

BBC article and interview

TV
- Looks like Pushing Daisies has been cancelled. TVgasm reports ABC has decided not to produce anymore eps of the series.
- David Tennant is leaving Dr. Who soon. Digital Spy gives its suggestions for the 11th Doctor. I could see Chiwetel Ejiofor, but Dexter Fletcher? Really?
- LOST is back on US stations on January 21st. Which means we’ll probably get it on Network 2 the week after.
- Wired has word that part 2 of season 4 of BSG will be streamed on scifi.com on April 4 and then broadcast that night.
- And finally in the Whedonverse ‘Dollhouse’ is set to premiere on Fox on Feb 13. Why does Joss always go with Fox? They seem to have a pretty toxic relationship.

Movies
- New (bootlegged) trailer for JJ Abrams ‘Star Trek ‘ is up here. Lets hope he’s left the screaming cellos at home for this one.
- First (proper) trailer for Watchmen now on Wired.
- Neil Gaiman’s ‘Coraline‘ is due for Feb 2009.

I’ve noticed recently a number of UK and Australian actresses taking on leading roles in the newer American shows - some of these have been successful, some well, not so much.

I wasn’t sure about Yvonne Strahovski (AUS) in Chuck for the first few episodes of season 1. She was extremely stiff, like reinforced cardboard, but I’ve warmed to her somewhat and now in season 2 she seems to have settled into her role as Sarah Walker. Gone are the awkward pauses in dialogue and the squinty eyes to signify happy, sad and angry. She’s also got the cutely geeky Zach Levi and wonderful Adam ‘Jayne’ Baldwin to play against.

Lena Headey (UK) is another actress who had a rocky start. The pilot episode of Sarah Connor Chronicles had me cringing as she grimaced her way through a variety of emotions - fear, anger, rage, with naught but a furrowed brow. She’s still a bit bolshie in season 2 and I’m not sure she’s entirely at ease with her body or the physiciality of the role as she walks like a man - all shoulders and crotch - wearing high heels. However she too has settled into her role and maybe one day I’ll forget Linda Hamiltons’ excellent Sarah. Ok, no I could never forget Linda-Sarah. (Aside - is anyone else HATING the voiceover guy at the beginning of each ep who explains the role of each of the main characters?)

Anna Friel (UK) is possibly the only one who has jumped right into her role as Chuck in Pushing Daisies in an entirely natural way. Pushing Daisies is more fantasy that sci-fi and maybe that’s part of the charm. Friel trips through the candyland coloured world of Daisies like she belongs there. That’s in stark contrast to Michelle Ryan (UK) in the very short lived remake of Bionic Woman. The premise of the new BW was darker than the Jamie Sommers we all remember (and not just her hair colour) and could have been good but Ryan wasn’t strong enough to carry it off. Every line she uttered seemed like a fight in her larynx, the ‘North Atlantic’ accent just didn’t suit her. Added to the fact she was playing against Katee Sackhoff (BSG’s Starbuck) and the girl just didn’t have the acting chops to hold the viewers interest.

The most recent Non-American Female in a Leading Role is Anna Torv (AUS) as Agent Olivia Dunham in the hilariously terrible Fringe. Torv is a complete automaton in the role, her eyes are dead and her lines are delivered in a low-pitched monotone that makes her sound like a post-op trannie. That’s the least of her problems with the role though. Where the other ladies have the benefit of decent writing and support cast the dialogue and plotting in Fringe is cringeworthy. Her cast-mates are equally abysmal - Joshua Jackson is making a career out of being Pacey Witter, John Noble is playing Denethor again and I can only assume things are slow after The Wire to have Lance Reddick involved in this muck.

Finally, oh finally there is Gabrielle Anwar (UK) in Burn Notice. I had to replay the first scene I saw her in a couple of times to convince my ears I was hearing what I thought I was hearing. Could someone PLEASE tell me where she got that atrocious Irish accent? She is a decent enough actress but is so focused on getting the accent right that you lose sense of her character. (If ‘Oirish’ actors don’t speak like a lead in an Irish Spring or Lucky Charms advert, Hollywood - and America - won’t believe they are Irish) For shame Gabrielle, an ex-IRA ‘operative’ who sounds like she just fell off the back of the turnip truck on its way from Limerick to Cork via Tyrone. The last time we heard such a mismatched abomination was the family from ‘Cork, Ireland’ in season 2 of Heroes.

Contrast UK and AUS Actresses - er, sorry Actors - with their male counterparts. I was in season 3 of BSG before I saw an interview with Jamie Bamber (Lee Adama) and realised he wasn’t American. So too with Idris Elba (Stringer Bell) and Dominic West (McNulty) in The Wire. The guys seem to fit in a lot easier than the women. Why is that? It can’t be just the accent can it? The women are competent actors in their own country. Why do they tend towards cardboard when they jump the Atlantic?

So I’ve uh, been watching some of the new season stuff - don’t ask, don’t tell right?
anyway here’s a brief run-through:

Flight of the Conchords
Stars: No one you’ll know - ok its Jemaine Clement and Bret McKenzie… See? You still don’t know them.
Plot: New Zealand band move to New York and try to break into the music scene.
Thoughts: I’ve watched the first three episodes. The re-curring joke ‘Are you English?’ ‘No we’re from New Zealand’ grows tired very quickly. The songs (yes, that’s right, I said songs) are like something French and Saunders would write on a bad day. The Monkees this ain’t.
Final Comment:: Put it this way, I’ve got 5 episodes and have only been able to watch three.

Bionic Woman
Stars: Michelle Ryan (ex-eastender) some other people, and Katee Sackhoff (BSG) wearing make-up.
Plot: Same as the original, Jamie Sommers is in a horrific crash gets bionic ear, eye, arm and legs.
Thoughts: Actually its not quite the same, there is a much darker reason for Jamies’ accident which - call me twisted - I kinda liked. Michelle Ryan has taken to the American accent quite well, there’s no trace of her eastender roots, and she’s also cleaned up pretty good as well. I’ve only seen the first episode and there were small touches of ‘Alias’ and ‘Dark Angel’ which I hope they don’t continue to pursue as I wasn’t really a fan of either of those shows. The CGI looks pretty good (although I kinda miss the original ‘cha-cha-cha-cha-cha’ when she jumps), fight scenes weren’t bad either.
Final Comment: Could be a slow burner, this was picked up by NBC so there’ll be money behind it. I guess they are hoping to continue the success they’ve had with Heroes.

Sarah Connor Chronicles - Pilot
Stars: Summer Glau (’Firefly’ and ‘The 4400′), Lena Headey (’300′ and some other stuff) and Thomas Dekker (Heroes - he was Clares ‘friend’.)
Plot: Begins after T-2 and messes with the storyline so that 3 never happened.
Thoughts: Ok, so I’ve only seen the pilot, but the first 10 minutes were excrutiating. I don’t know if Lena Headey was still struggling with her American accent or what, but it was stilted and awful. Then it settled down and became a pretty good action show, good pacing and the characters seemed to settle in a bit. They seem to have a great set-up for when the actual show premieres (I think its March in the states.) Sarah Connor is younger (in the pilot they mention she was 19 when Kyle knocked her up with John) and the timeline is arseways, but considering I’m not sure what the original timeline was anyway, that might not be such a bad thing.
Final Comment: Another one that could be quite entertaining if they don’t mess it up.

Reaper
Stars: Well it’s directed by Kevin Smith, but the actors are pretty much unknowns - at least to me. Bret Harrison (reminds me a bit of Jake Ghyllenhaal) plays the lead role of ‘Sam’.
Plot: Sams parents sell his soul to the devil, so in return he becomes a bounty hunter for escaped souls.
Thoughts: Given that this is a Kevin Smith thing there is plenty of twisted humour in the show. Sam is cute and likeable even if he is a slacker, his mates are quirky enough to not be phased (too much) when he tells them the truth and there’s a wee hottie for love interest.
Final Thoughts: Could be ok, if Smith keeps the adolescent humour to a minimum. Trouble is it’s on CW and they don’t have a great track record with some of their shows. Chances of us getting it over here? Pretty low, unless Channel 6 scoops in. Then again RTE might just surprise us, but I don’t think so. We’ll probably have to wait a couple of years before Sky catches on, or Channel 4 and by that time it will probably be cancelled in the States.
Edit: Thanks for the update Priscilla, I got it wrong. Only the first episode was directed by Kevin Smith.

Heroes, Season 2
Okay so this isn’t strictly a new show cos I’ve already devoured series 1 and I’m hooked. But I just wanted to stick it in here. Have watched episode 1 of season 2. Despite my reservations about the Irish accents, it’ll probably be another good season. Some good setups in the first ep, if they can keep up what they did for season 1 they’ll have another winner on their hands. Good, entertaining fun.

WORST IRISH ACCENTS EVER.

That is all.

Of COURSE Bennet’s first name is Noah.

It’s only taken me the summer to figure it out. doh!

I meant to blog about this on Wednesday but as with every other thing I meant to blog about lately I haven’t had the time or patience to string more than two words together at any one time.
Anyway, what was my point?

oh yeah, Heroes.

The first season is finished and I watched the last episode there on Tuesday night thanks to er, modern technological advances and eh, stuff. Channel 6 is showing the first season here, but they are only at episode 14. Now that its finished I’m wondering what to do, pretty much all the shows have ended this week - Desperate Housewives, Heroes, Lost ends on Monday and Ugly Betty is finished next Thursday - which makes me sound like an awful couch potato, but really I’m not. I only watch a few shows (Grey’s season 3 has just started back on Living) so I don’t really watch THAT much telly.

Which reminds me, feckin’ BIG BROTHER is starting next week, so I really WILL be avoiding the television for the summer - or at least trying to.

Hmm, this was going to be a post about ‘Heroes’ and how much I loved it, and what wonderful eye-candy (episode 20 especially!) was on show and etc, etc. It was the small touches that I liked to pick out. Not the Stan Lee cameo, or the number of times the ‘Godsend’ symbol showed up, or George Takei’s licence plate (NCC-1701). Unlike Lost (season 1) I wasn’t so caught up in the mystery of it all. I just enjoyed it for the characters and plot in which the writers actually rewarded us viewers with ANSWERS.

The bits I loved were more subtle. The camera work is amazing, tilted shots, perspective, focus. Those shots you’d expect to see in a comic book panel, but without being a hokey Batman homage. Episode 17 ‘Company Man’ is an example of those little touches. (and the later episodes as well, which I WON’T spoil for those who haven’t yet seen them.) The zooms across the front lawn, tilted perspectives in the hallway, its all good.

Can’t wait for Volume 2!

Photo courtesy of HeroSite.net

In the office the third lift over is always breaking down. Arrive at floor and ‘ping’ the doors open 2 inches and then stop. This means standing around in the lift for 5 minutes until the doors reset themselves and close, then shoot you up to a floor you don’t want to be on. Once the doors open we are so happy to be free of the lift that we walk back down to the sixth floor, rather than take the chance on the lift doors getting stuck again.
Never, never, never has a man the likes of the Diet Coke Bloke come abseiling to our rescue. Our office is full of overweight, middle-aged men in glasses who guffaw loudly at their own jokes and sport large red whiskey noses. Which, if I told you where I work would make perfect sense.
Think, old school.
Think, old boys club.
Think, money.
If anyone did come abseiling into the lift it would be one of rather large and out of shape security guards. Then again, I guess Coke wouldn’t sell half as much if the Diet Coke Bloke had a beer belly and combover.

Just sayin’ like.

Got this from Nat King Coleslaw…

Hilarious.

George Takei responds to Tim Hardaway