Severe Jam Damage

Possible spoilers ahead

‘Jesus, that looks atrocious’ the Barfly grunted as Nic Cage towered above us on the screen spouting some jingositic shite while hanging off the edge of Mount Rushmore.
‘Well however bad ‘I am Legend’ is it can’t be as bad as that one looks.’
‘How the hell did they manage to get funding for a sequel anyway? I didn’t think the first one did much business?’
‘At least we’ll have Vampire-Zombies’
‘Have you even READ the book?’
‘I’m not sure about this’ mumbled the Philosopher. ‘Maybe we should have gone to see something else.’
‘Like?’
‘Umm…Enchanted?’ he suggested and then recoiled from our combined Stare of Death.
‘Can you imagine the three of us going to see Enchanted?’ I snorted.
‘Its supposed to be good… ‘ was his weak rejoinder.
‘No more speaking from you!’
‘How long have the ads and trailers been on now?’
‘Feels like an hour at least.’
‘Jesus, can you imagine being married to that guy?’
‘Who?’
‘The Burger King voice-over bloke.’
‘I just wish they’d start the fuckin movie.’
‘Not many in the cinema.’
‘Its New Years Eve’
‘What do you wanna bet three basketball players will sit in front of us? -Actually it’ll be ONE basketball player and he’ll sit in front of you.’
‘Har dee feckin har. You’ve probably jinxed me now.’
‘With big ears or a hat you can’t see around.’
‘Shup - the movie is starting.’
‘Who is talking?’
‘You are’
‘No, its those two twonks down the row.’
‘SHUT UP!’
‘They can’t hear you.’
‘Shhhh!’

The twonks didn’t stop their conversation until about an hour in which drove me absolutely mental. However I eventually managed to ignore them and watch the movie. Which wasn’t THAT bad - except that I had read the book. I’m beginning to think I should stop reading altogether as Hollywood has a way of turning my favourite scenes into something unrecognisable - or cutting them altogether - and completely ruining the endings.

‘Based on Richard Matheson’s ‘I am Legend'’.

Very, very loosely based. The vamps looked like the creatures from The Descent with better lighting. Ruined New York looks great and for me - a self professed misanthropist - an ideal way to see the city. Smith is surpringingly restrained in his role - not a sign of a ‘HELL YEAH, that’s what I’m talkin’ bout mo-fo’ and plays the ’slowly going insane’ in a rather measured way. Although when he quotes the ‘Ogres don’t have any friends’ scene from Shrek it sort of beats you over the head with his feelings of isolation. On another layer Neville being able to identify with the monster could be a tip of the hat to the book - but it is over so quickly and so at odds with the conclusion that it seems more like a conceit of the script.

There are a number of such nods to the book which are never fully explored (or explained) and are then overshadowed by guns, explosions and mass carnage. This could have been an interesting character study - and been more truthful to the book - but anytime it looks like it may head that way Smith blows some stuff up and the movie returns to its cliched ‘all action all the time’ roots.

Don’t get me wrong I like a bit of crash - bang - wallop as much as the next guy - but where the book slowly builds to a crescendo of tension and horror the movie slaps you about the face with a block of C4. The dynamic of the statement ‘I am Legend’ is completely turned on its ear. William Goldman wrote* that in Hollywood you’ll never get an A-list actor to take a role that required them to be less than a hero, unless they were specifically cast as the villain. Such a pity, Hollywood might have more interesting movies.

Ultimately, there might be too much Will Smith in the role and not enough Robert Neville in that you are always aware that it is Smith who is on the screen. At one point during a highly charged scene I was more struck by the sight of the Fresh Prince with greying hair than what was actually happening to his character. Distracting. Although given that Arnie was originally penciled in for the role it becomes obvious that the makers were always looking for a big name for the poster.
With brief touches somewhat reminiscent of Danny Boyle’s zombie flick(s) this is more ‘28 Days Too Late‘ than ‘Omega Man’ - which itself was criticized for not being enough like the book.

As an actioner ‘I am Legend’ is pretty much typical of it genre and entertaining enough. As a faithful rendition of the book - a sci-fi CLASSIC… well, you’ll have to look elsewhere.

*It was either in ‘Which Lie did I tell Now?’ or ‘Adventures in the Screen Trade’. Also I am paraphrasing.