Superman is Dead
FFS. Edited to remove possible ’spoilers.’
Well, of course he isn’t, but just like Perry White I always wanted to use it as a headline.
Priscilla and I went to see Superman Returns last night though. We were one seat in from the aisle up until the credits starting rolling.
‘Great’ I muttered glaring at the empty seat ‘I’m going to be sat beside some horrendous sweaty mong beast of a fan boy whatcha wanna bet?’
‘Maybe you could get lucky and a pretty boy will sit beside you’ said Priscilla.
‘Nah, pretty boys don’t go to the movies by themselves.’
In the end it was a pretty girl who sat beside me. I briefly considered swapping seats with Priscilla to give him a chance to wow her with his geektacular knowledge.
Because it’s a 12 rated film all the trailers were for the upcoming kids movies (and one particularly awful looking thing with Ben Stiller) but thrown in among them were trailers for Ghost Rider, Spidey and Transformers.
‘Yes!’ squealed Priscilla, clapping his hands and bouncing in his seat like a little girl. ‘Be still my beating heart.’
The girl beside me snorted with laughter. Good thing I hadn’t changed seats, he’d already ruined any cred he might have had with her.
But to the movie…
I liked it. Quite simply, I wasn’t sure what I was going to think of it, but it was an enjoyable enough way to spend a couple of hours. Brandon Routh was a pretty good Superman (nice thighs boyo! hubbahubba) and proved he could do the slapstick schtick as Clark Kent. Spacey ripped through the movie spitting scenery and Parker Posey was enjoyable to watch as the ‘moll with the heart of gold.’ Kate Bosworth (OI! Hollywood, enough with the Kate’s already, how many do ye need?) was more of a Penelope Pitstop type of Lois, than a ballsy She-Ra version. However she put to rest Terry Hatcher’s whiny portrayal of La Lane so we can be thankful for that, although the amount of scrapes the girl got herself into, she really shouldn’t be let out of the Daily Planet offices. The set piece at the opening is brilliant and even though I knew it was going to turn out alright - cos we’re only 20 minutes into the movie for godsake - I still found my fingernails digging into the armrests. Beside me, Priscilla had pressed himself back into the seat as far as he could go.
Overall a thumbs up, some nice touches - they gave Lois a boyfriend who wasn’t a sleaze but proved he could be a hero when it counted. Some cool FX, a bit of the old ultra-violence involving Lex and a pair of steel capped boots and Eva Marie Saint as Martha Kent. Sure it’s well worth your tenner.
