Severe Jam Damage

Well I won’t be doing that again.
€3.85 for a tall caramel machiatto? Not a chance, no way, no sirree. It’s my own fault I know, I saw the doors and the big open sign and thought ‘Well sure, I’ll give it a try.’ Inside I’m confronted with a menu board where nothing is under 3 quid and as I’m hustled down the counter I notice a little handwritten sign. To be honest the place is full of signs, signs to tell me where to pay, where to sit, how the beans are roasted. The handwritten sign at the end of the counter informs me that my barista’s name is ‘Joseph’ his favourite espresso is ‘Toffee noodle frappiacco wanker’ and he likes listening to ‘Led Zeppelin, the Waterboys and Indie music’. Pity he can’t make coffee though, mine was burnt to shit. Bitter and horrible, it tasted like sour coffee grounds and mud.
i should have known though, I was in town when the Dame St shop opened and there was some wench handing out shots of coffee to passersby that came from a big cannister on her back. She looked like she was auditioning for Ghostbusters. That coffee was absolutely abysmal as well, so I knew that whatever I ordered this morning was going to be horrible too. Guess I’m a bigger sucker for marketing than I thought.

I’ll be going back to my regular Italian coffee tomorrow. Only 2 quid in the shop across the road, and I get a smile and some homemade pastries with it.

Thanks to Chris for the link to this. It’s a cool kinda tool which assesses your photo and tells you what celebrities you look like. Okay, it’s sorta cool, well… it wastes some time if you’re bored. Me? I’m bored all the time. I tried it with a rather dodgy pic of myself and a friend in Rome after a couple of bottles of wine and came up with the following:
Katherine Hepburn, (70% similar, yay!)
Whitney houston, (eh?)
Condo-bloody-leeza Rice, (noooooo!)
Jennifer Aniston, (big nose?)
Liza Bleedin’ Minelli, (ohohohohnononono!)
Julianne Moore, (meh)
JK rowling, (double meh)
Harriet Beecher Stowe. (Her nickname in school was ‘Ol Hatchetface’)

Anyone else noticed that the internet appears to have pretty much stopped this month? Oh I know it’s lack of money and we’re all coming down from the sugar rush of the Silly Season. How many brain cells died last month I wonder? Shouldn’t grumble I suppose as my efforts at being witty and interesting seem to be failing miserably as well. If you can’t beat ‘em and all that…

In other news,
Happy birthday to my nephew who is 2 years old today!

And a belated ‘Birth’ day to his baby sister, who arrived six weeks early and surprised the heck out of everyone.

just got this through email.

Well, it made me laugh. Lost Rhapsody
BTW: I have not seen ANY of season 2 yet, so no spoiler type comments here please!

Dear ‘Other people on public transport’,

Please brush your teeth \ take a shower \ wash your hair \ get rid of your dandruff \ use deodorant \ stop farting \ don’t overdo it on your perfume \ blow your nose so I don’t have to listen to you snort up snot for the entire journey \ don’t cough, hack or sneeze on me \ could culchies please wash the shite off their boots before getting onboard \ stop singing \ stop laughing like a deranged hyena \ stop talking loudly on the 7 o’clock train when I am trying to sleep \ stop whistling \ stop playing your bleeping video games \ turn down the volume on your ipod or get decent headphones that don’t bleed noise \ turn off the key beeps when texting \ stop eating \ stop snoring \ don’t mouth breathe \ stop putting on your makeup on the train, I have visions of you popping out an eyeball with your mascara brush when the train stops suddenly \ stop picking your nose \ stop fidgeting with everything that comes to hand this includes tickets, empty plastic bottles and your zipper \ stop tapping your fingernails against the window, armrest and back of my seat \ don’t sit beside me when there are lots of empty seats around \ don’t use my lap as a place to store your shopping bags and jackets \ don’t try to start a conversation with me, I am not your friend, no I don’t know where the doctors office on Pearse st is and I’m not interested in why you are coming up to the big schmoke \ stop screaming at your mates in the next carriage \ stop wandering up and down the carriage slapping the top of each seat as you pass \ don’t lean on the top of my seat so you can talk to someone in the seat behind \ don’t lean against my seat and get your arse out of my face thanks \ stop standing on my feet \ stop sitting on me \ stop breathing on me \ stop pushing your oversize newspaper into my face \ stop shaking your wet brolly on me \ stop leaning against me \ stop snogging \ stop groping \ stop rubbing \ don’t hog the poles when there are other people who also have to stand \ at least make an effort to move out of the way when I say ‘excuse me’.

Also could the filthies* just get out and walk. You could do with the exercise.

Regards,
Me.

*aka Filthy Students

On quiet days in work I’ve been known to while away the time on Channel101.com, watching such classic shows as ‘The ‘Bu’ a pisstake of ‘The OC’ starring Elliot from Scrubs (now in muppet vision) and ‘Yacht Rock’ which documents the dark seedy underbelly of early 80’s easy listening music.

Today I see that this is the latest cancelled show. Boasting stoned and drunk actors, crappy graphics, scary wigs and Sarah Silverman. This has some of the worst production values I’ve ever seen.

So it’s now illegal to be a troll in the states. Although the word ‘annoy’ is used very loosely. If I had my way I’d lock up the entire world for annoying me.

Found this crowd on the network share yesterday. Immediately headed into Tower and picked up a double CD set. Tis a big file (10mb) but pretty cool, ‘He’s Simple, He’s Dumb, He’s the Pilot.‘ Their website is also not too bad.

Grandaddy.

Weather - I’m sick to the back teeth of getting up in the morning and having to wait 5 minutes while the car warms up enough to melt the ice on the windows. Yeah, yeah. I know it would be easier to buy de-icer but I just haven’t gotten around to it. At least in the mornings though I can run into the house for a jug of warm water to throw across the windshield. In the evenings I’m at the mercy of the cars’ engine and sitting in the parking lot, waiting.

Other People - So while I’m fairly confident that I can keep my car on the road and in the lane where it’s supposed to be, I’m not so confident about other people’s ability to do same.

Parking - Every morning I drive down to the station and park in a lovely little spot. Every morning the spot next to me is taken by some blonde bimbette who backs into the space without thought for where she is going. Now you may say ’sure thats grand she knows her car well enough to be able to turn on a dime’. However you weren’t in the car with me looking at the huge scrapes in the paintwork all along the side of the car where she had obviously hit or scraped someone else doing her little manouvre. In the summer she used to drive a Trans Am and the number of mornings her back bumper slapped against the wall is beyond measure at this time. I can only assume she completely trashed the Knightmobile as these days she is driving a feckin’ huge station wagon type thing. I almost had a heart attack on Monday morning when I saw her coming.

I think I OD’ed on Movies the last couple of weeks, here’s a brief review of some of them:

Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Chamber of Azkhaban - WHAT? eh? all of ‘em are overlong and got switched off halfway through.
The Polar Express - starring Tom Hanks, Tom Hanks and Tom Hanks. Oh, and Produced By Tom Hanks.
Lemony Snicket - Great Fun. Jim Carrey doing what he does best, weird voices and funny faces.
After the Sunset - Meh. Best line:
Woody Harrelson: It’s ok to be happy to see me. Just because you’re English doesn’t mean you need to hide your emotions.
Pierce Brosnan: I’m Irish. We let people know how we feel. Now fuck off.
Five Children and It - Narnia meets Lemony Snicket. Eddie Izzard was great as the sand fairy.
The Parent Trap - The remake with Lindsay bleedin’ Lohan although the original is just as annoying. Look, I was hungover and tired ok? I had no energy to change the channel.
Rebecca - Larry Olivier and Joan Fontaine, props to BBC2 matinees.
Ghandi - Watched this again yesterday and after three hours of sitting through the entire thing missed the LAST TWO MINUTES!! I got up and left the room just as he got shot.

Also tried watching The Maltese Falcon yesterday afternoon but the dogs were going nuts so I had to keep throwing water on ‘em and missed whole chunks of it.