Severe Jam Damage

From fuckedcompany.com:

Rumour has it that a company in Brooklyn NY left a voice mail on a customer’s phone threatening to break his neck if he cancelled his order… and I thought America was the country where the customer is always right.

Best Line heard on telly this weekend:

‘I did it with my hot, pointy finger’
- The Human Torch on the old cartoon version of the Fantastic Four.

I don’t know why, but this line cracked me up completely yesterday morning.

Friday night, company Christmas do.

Me and 12 lads drinking cocktails in the Capitol. We started off in Jaipur, had a lovely meal and then things went a bit pear shaped. The Long Hall was jammered (and more importantly wouldn’t accept the company credit card) so we headed across the road. Things were going well till we started on the cocktails. What the hell is a ‘Sexy Bull’ anyway? My memories are indeed rather fuzzy, although I appear to have pulled a muscle in my leg as I’ve been hobbling around for the weekend. I have vague memories of falling across the Gurrier and the Gin Lady at one stage of the night. Also got given out to by the lads for not introducing GL when she joined us downstairs for a dance.

Lost my coat, found it again. Left the pub, waited for a taxi for about half an hour then said ’shag it’ and legged it round to catch the last nite link home. I have blanked this last traumatic experience from my mind. But have just one question: Why, in the middle of winter is there no heat on the buses? This morning I was on the 7b coming in from my parents house and I could SEE MY BREATH on the bus. This is bad and wrong.
Anyway I’m digressing.
Rest of the weekend was spent lying on the parent’s sofa watching crap telly. Now that really WILL turn your brain to mush.